Amy's Story... #becauseY

I didn't write this. It is an email from  my boss, Jeannie Thé. As you read Amy's Y story, see how the YMCA is working every day to help people fight for their lives. I don't think Amy would mind me telling you that she is not a rich lady. But she was moved to do something pretty special that will help her neighbors write their own Y stories. I hope you will join her.

Bob

“I started Livestrong program at the Y in 2014 after having 3 cancer surgeries. While into the program I got sick….and had to have another surgery….after the surgery in May of 2014 I became so depressed and nothing seemed to bring me out of the depression that I was in…

Well one day I was thinking of ending my life……….

Then it came to me about the Livestrong program that I was in before I got sick again, and how much I enjoyed it and knew it was helping me. Well I called the North YMCA and talked to Dave and he told me ‘yes” I could come back to Livestrong and the new class was starting in a week.

So I had hope again. Praise God.

I started Livestrong and the leaders Bob and Marian have been so great and caring. Because of Livestrong and the leaders and the other people in the program I feel like I have a reason to live again. Livestrong has saved my life and I am so grateful for Livestrong.

Thank you Bob, Marian and thank you YMCA for the Livestrong program.”

I was blown away when Amy shared her story with me just before last week’s board meeting and she handed me a wad of cash.  Amy has been saving $1 bills and she is so grateful to the Y she donated 100 $1 bills to the 2015 Annual Giving Campaign. Amy’s story, and the many other Y stories, is why we all do what we do.

Jeannie Thé

Executive Director

North Lexington Family YMCA

381 W. Loudon Avenue

Lexington, KY 40508

Jaden's Family: A Safe Place to Be #becauseY

Mine is not the only Y story. I want to share some others, too, but to protect their owner's privacy, I will take a few liberties. I have made up names for them. I may also consolidate experiences of several people into a single tale. But rest assured, I will not make anything up. These are true accounts of how the Y has touched the lives of people I know and care for.

Click to learn more about Aspergers.

Jaden is small for his age. At 10, he looks more like 7 or 8. The doctors have told his parents Jaden has Asperger's . He doesn't know his diagnosis, but he does know he's a little weird. He knows because the kids at school won't let him forget. He gets teased because he sometimes wears funny looking outfits to school, and gets distracted a lot. He hardly ever looks right at you when he talks, and sometimes the things he says don't have anything to do with what's going on. In class, he is sometimes so shy that he can't even speak to answer a teacher's questions. At other times. he acts all crazy like he wants to be the center of everybody's attention. Every now and then, even his teachers have trouble concealing their frustration with him. Jaden feels like almost everybody in school has picked on him or made fun of him at one time or another. He tries not to think about it, but it still hurts.

Jaden's parents try hard to help their boy, but their lives aren't perfect either. His mom's health is very poor. She had a stroke a few years ago, and became very depressed and obese. Her heart is weak, and she needs a walker to help her get around. Years of smoking left her with COPD, and she uses an oxygen tank nearly all the time. Sometimes she forgets and lets it run out. When that happens, she gets very sick, and even falls down. A few weeks ago, the doctors discovered a lump in her breast. She wonders how many more things can go wrong. And she is very afraid she is going to die before her boy grows up. Jaden's dad works hard to keep his family together. He drives a school bus, and stocks the shelves at a grocery store in town. He hurt his back at work a few years ago, and it still bothers him, especially when the weather is cold or rainy. Sometimes the pressure of loving a sick wife and raising a strange, frustrating child makes him wonder if he isn't going crazy. Sometimes, he wishes he could just run away. But he never does.

Soon after her diagnosis, Jaden's mom learned about a program at the YMCA for cancer survivors. She and her family could have a free membership, while she worked with a group of people who had also had the disease. The trainers taught her exercises she could do, even with her walker. At every meeting, the group would gather and talk about life with cancer. It made her feel like she wasn't so alone.

Jaden's dad hadn't really exercised for fun since he was in high school. A member of the wellness staff at the Y met with him and they talked a little about his health and things he might do to reduce the pain in his back. As he come to the gym, lifted weights, swam, and chatted with other dads in the lobby, Jaden's dad started to feel like he was finally doing something to take care of himself, not just the people who needed him. It made him feel stronger. He realized that he wasn't going crazy after all.

Jaden's parents signed him up for a group that runs outside three times a week. The coaches know his name, and are always glad to see him. During warm-ups, he clowns around when he feels like it, and nobody tells him he's weird or to sit down and shut up. Jaden is always one of the fastest runners.  His mentor asks him how he's doing, and really listens. Some days, they laugh and talk the whole way. Other days, they are just quiet and the only sound is the pat-pat-pat of their feet on the pavement and their deep, easy breath as they run along for up to five or six miles. They always sprint the last 50 yards, and Jaden almost always wins. When it is Jaden's turn to lead stretches after the last runner finishes he takes the responsibility very seriously. He doesn't feel self conscious at all when he is leading the group. His coaches tell him he is a natural leader. Jaden thinks he might like to try doing a triathalon someday. His mom signed him up for swimming lessons, and she loves to sit on the bleachers and watch as he gets stronger and more confident in the water. One of the staff asked a local bicycle shop to donate a bike, and dad taught him to ride outside on the basketball court.

Click to read a great story about learning to ride

The Y is a safe place for Jaden and his family. They can be alone here. They can also find companions who listen and understand. For the first time in years, each of them feels like they are making friends. Mom and Dad are losing weight. The kids at school are still mean to Jaden, sometimes. But at the Y, he knows there will always be people who care and encourage him. Jaden's parents aren't kidding themselves. They know life is always going to be hard for them. But they also know that the Y is a place where they can do things together that they never thought they had time or energy to do before.

For each of them, in the ways they need it most, the Y is a safe place to be.

They Didn't Laugh... #becauseY

We have a tradition at the Y. At most big meetings, someone shares their "Y story." It's a way to remind those of us who work there that the YMCA is much more than just a place to work out. This March, as the YMCA of Central Kentucky conducts our annual fund drive, I want to share my own "Y story." I hope it will inspire you to think, to move, to donate, and maybe even start a Y story of your own. Here's chapter one.

The Five: why had God let me live?

I wasn't dead, and I had no idea why. My Brother-in-law, Aunt. Cousin, and a dear Friend had all been diagnosed with cancer within a few weeks of the day I was. I was the last one alive. With every clear scan, I grew more confident that God had saved my life. The last time I saw him, my Brother-in-law whispered to me through tears of joy, "It's all going to be worth it. God has saved you for a reason." I wanted to believe him, but for the life of me, I could not imagine what it might be.

Mrs P opened her email one morning in the spring of 2011, and called for me to hear it. The YMCA of Central Kentucky was starting a new program, in association with the Lance Armstrong foundation called LIVESTRONG at the YMCA. For twelve weeks, a small group of cancer survivors would work together with a team of personal trainers to build strength, flexibility, and endurance. That was all well and good, but the part that got my attention was a free, three month citywide family membership at the Y. We could spend the summer going to the pool, instead of sweating through the long Kentucky summer. A couple of lame gym classes a week would be a small price to pay. Besides, I had been trying to get strong again.

As soon as I could get out of bed, a month or so after my treatment was over, I started walking. I wondered if I could jog. I had been having a recurring dream about running and flying ever since I started taking Percocet to reduce the pain of my radiation treatments. Years ago, I had tried jogging for a while, but a bout of depression sidelined me. Since then my weight had ballooned to over 400 pounds before cancer treatment almost starved me to death. Now 90 pounds lighter, I started out slowly, and built up to the point where I could walk/run for almost an hour. That winter, I had finished the Shamrock Shuffle 3K. Could I go farther?

I started reading about running, and continued my run/walk journey. As I grew stronger, an impossible, unspeakable dream started to form in my imagination. Could I run a Marathon? I didn't dare ask the question out loud. It was too ridiculous. Only Mrs P knew. But in my dreams, as I slept, I kept on running the country roads around Lexington.

Coach Carrie and Coach Melissa

When I arrived at the Y in June of 2011 for my intake interview, the trainers heard my story and seemed impressed. As we were finishing, they asked me if I had any fitness goals. For the first time, I actually spoke the words to someone besides Mrs P.

"I've been reading about this race in Midway, KY in October. It's called the Iron Horse Half Marathon. I've been having this crazy fantasy about running in it."

They didn't laugh. Coach Carrie looked me straight in the eye. "Absolutely. You can absolutely do that. We can help you get there." Coach Melissa's eyes sparkled as she nodded in agreement.

Mrs P and Mom always talked like that, but I had never had a stranger see such strength and potential in me. As I walked out into the blazing sun, I got the feeling that something very important had happened during my first visit to the YMCA.

I had no idea how right I was.

My Friend, the Godly Atheist

Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. Beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us... Those who say, ‘I love God’, and hate their brothers or sisters,^* are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister^* whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen. The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters^* also. ~ 1 John 4:7-12, 20-21 

I have a friend who is an Atheist. He does not believe in God, and he most particularly does not believe in religion. He does believe in science, intelligence, compassion, and justice. Yesterday, after a group of religious people entered the offices of a newspaper in Paris and murdered 11 journalists because they thought God was offended by things the paper had printed, my friend wrote on Facebook:

Goddamn religion. Makes me want to puke.

Considering the news from France, it was hard to disagree with him.

Which is why I was especially gratified to find this passage from the first letter of John in this morning's lectionary. They were words I needed to hear: words that everyone needs to hear: especially those of us who embrace religion as a source of spiritual and moral guidance.

Everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. What an amazing and radical idea to preach to a church that was at that time being persecuted into extinction by the Roman empire. There is no call to defend God. No enlisting of Christian Soldiers. To the contrary, John says Those who say, ‘I love God’, and hate their brothers or sisters,^* are liars... This is tough stuff to swallow. The implication here is obvious and in a way terrifying. Whoever hates another person, hates God.

How do we love Christ? We obey his commandments. And how do we do that?

I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. ~ John 13:34

 Would Jesus murder a newspaper reporter? Would he lie to a customer to keep their business? Would he cheat on his wife or beat his child or collect guns or fight against the "War on Christmas?" Would he turn his eyes away from the beggar at the traffic light or the drunk who is passed out on the curb? Would Jesus gossip or spread stories about people that he didn't know were true? Would he change the way he spoke or the jokes he told, depending on who was in the room? No, he would not have done any of these things, because they express disrespect and contempt, and whoever disrespects a person they can see, can never love the God they cannot see.

If we want to love our invisible God, we have no choice. We must love the people whom God has placed before us. Love is our business in this world. Maybe if we would mind that business, our religion would be more palatable to my friend who does not know the church, but knows God better than he may realize.

Let us love one another... For love is from God.

Bob

The Bells of Nathaniel

Philip found Nathanael and said to him, ‘We have found him about whom Moses in the law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus son of Joseph from Nazareth.’ Nathanael said to him, ‘Can anything good come out of Nazareth?’ Philip said to him, ‘Come and see.’ When Jesus saw Nathanael coming towards him, he said of him, ‘Here is truly an Israelite in whom there is no deceit!’~ John 1:43-47 NRSV

In this passage from this morning's prayers, two things ring in my ear like bells.

The first is that, at a Nazarene, Jesus grew up in a backwater that was the butt of jokes and derission among the more sophisticated people in Israel. Jesus was a hillbilly: poor white trash. He came from a place where the news was always bad. I am reminded of national news items about my home state. When we see a story about Kentucky on CNN or Huffington, our first reaction is, "Oh, no. What now?" It's usually about how ours is among the hardest places to live, with the most depressed people, the most numerous smokers, the worst poverty, the highest rates of cancer or drug abuse or most recently, the flu. We expect the news that makes it out of Kentucky to be bad.

At the same time, people who live in the cities of central and western Kentucky often look to the eastern mountains as the home of ignorance, meth labs, moonshine cookers, and snake handlers. Even among ourselves, we have a system of class and caste.

As it is in the Bluegrass, so it was with Israel As far as Rome was concerned, Palestine was a strategically important cultural wasteland. Though their homeland was critical to the Emperor's control of the eastern Mediterranean,  the Hebrews looked like savage primitives to the sophisticates in Rome. That cultural contempt echoed in Nathaniel's joke about Nazareth. Nothing good could ever come from the holler dwelling trailer trash in that miserable place.

Where else would you expect to find the Savior of the World?

And that's what strikes me as so important: Jesus was a cultural surprise. He was not a graduate of Harvard Divinity school, or even Oral Roberts University. He was a nobody from nowhere. A preacher who showed up from West Virginia or Mississippi or the lettuce farms of California or the ghettos of Detroit. We might expect such a man to offer homespun wisdom and folksy, simplistic philosophy, but never the most radical and influential theology in history. Jesus was a man without influence, from the most miserable town in the most miserable part of the Roman world. Jesus is not who we expect him to be. He is not to be found among the usual suspects. Jesus will take us by surprise, and challenge all of our prejudices and assumptions.

The second bell rings when Jesus greets the man from Bethsaida. We might expect a stern rebuke, or even good natured ribbing from the penniless preacher, but instead, he greets him with praise. Before Nathaniel even speaks to him, Jesus sees his character and his integrity. "Here is truly an Israelite in whom there is no deceit!" Jesus does not return contempt for contempt. Nathaniel may look down on the Carpenter's Son, but at least he is honest about it. He does not smile with his mouth and sneer with his heart. And in that candor and honesty, Jesus recognizes a man who can serve God even if he is very different from the people among whom Jesus was raised. Jesus compassion transcends both bigotry and cultural differences, and in that moment, the two men form a bond that lasts a lifetime.

The story of Nathaniel calls us to look beyond our expectations and our differences. In this morning's collect from the New Zealand Book of Common Prayer, we hear, Make us willing to listen and humble in what we believe is right. (p 563)

Jesus was willing to listen, and humble in his beliefs: he did not see a snob from the port city of Bethsaida, but rather a man who was without trickery or guile. Jesus took the time to see and hear a stranger, and he found a friend. God grant that we might have the courage to really look and see the people we encounter, and the compassion to recognize the divinity in them, in spite of our own assumptions and expectations.

Peace, y'all.
Bob

#BeTheChange

This saying has always made a lot of sense to me. As I started thinking about a personal theme for 2015, it rose to the top. My research showed me that the quote is wrongly attributed to Gandhi. He never actually said that. I also read a pundit who suggested that the philosophy is an anti-political bromide meant to sooth the guilty consciences of privileged Americans who would rather work on self-improvement that helping their neighbors. I reluctantly concede the first point, but object to the second.

I find profound truth in the idea that we must first change ourselves before we can change the world. Consider the damage done when a hero falls. Athletes. Politicians. Entertainers. Religious leaders. They might have done many positive things for a time, but when the cracks in their public persona reveal deep personal flaws or even hypocrisy, we start to question their motives and the integrity of their cause. If we want to change the world, we must first change ourselves.

I am a Christian. That means I believe in the life and ministry of a great and radical revolutionary: a teacher whose life showed us the value of courage, strength, compassion, and joy. Jesus didn't just say the right things and inspire with his words; he modeled the values of faithfulness and love that resonate right down to our time, even among those who do not believe in his deity or the church that bears his name. To imitate Christ means living the change: not just speaking out, but also stepping up.

My resolution for 2015 is to be the change I wish to see in the world.

• I will continue to improve my own health and wellness, so I can serve my God, my neighbors, and myself more effectively. 
• I will earn the Personal Training certification that I've been talking about for years, so that I can teach with confidence and authority. 
• Finally, I am going to find myself a church home in 2015. My reasons for not doing so are no longer persuasive, not even to myself. I have known the value of contributing to a worshipful community, and I want that back in my life.

I will continue to refine those goals, sometimes privately, sometimes sharing that journey on Run Bob, Run, and in a year I hope to look back on these resolutions and see that I was faithful to them -- and that my faithfulness helped to change myself and my world.

Here is an invitation. How do you wish the world was different? What can you do in your own life and habits that will be a pebble dropped in the sea of change that will make the world a better place -- even just a tiny part of it.

Peace,
Bob

Report Card for #reboot2014

A review of my 2014 New Year's resolutions: five simple goals for better living that I called #reboot2014

-- Get weight down to 245/Body fat <20%   B-
47 pounds lost. 22 short of my goal with body fat percentage hovering at 25%. Most of my failing here is due to abuse of food. Rolling this one over to 2015

-- Read/Write 60 min/day:   C+
I did well for a while, even won a prize for a short story, but both activities tapered dramatically when I turned my attention to Frankenstein. I'm not going to lie to you: it was worth the sacrifice. But I'm blocking that hour a day off of my calendar again, starting, well, about 20 minutes ago, actually.

-- Exercise 60 min/day:   B+
Teaching has helped a lot here, and I have to say I feel more fit than ever, but certain data suggests I need to be more intentional about getting my own workouts in. (see goal #1 above)

-- Personal Contact with another human every day.  A
Of all my #reboot2014 goals, this was the one I was most faithful about, and it has returned great dividends in new and renewed friendships. I'm officially declaring this one an established rule for life. Never let a day pass without looking someone in the eye, and trying to see them, and allowing yourself to be seen.

-- Pray for the people I love every day. A-
No, not every day, but the days I skipped were pretty rare. I found this to be an especially healthy way to start my mornings, even before getting out of bed, I call to mind my friends and family, particularly those who are sick or sad or in trouble. I whisper their name. I hold them in my heart. I think of it as pestering God. I figure if I nag him enough, he'll help them just to get me to shut up. It also serves as a meaningful reminder that my life is not all about me. This one has also graduated from good intention to habit. I think I'll keep it.

Tomorrow, I'll share a few that I'm adding for 2015. Till then, Happy New Year, y'all!

Peace,
Bob