#183: The Lion Walks After Supper

It's almost 90 degrees outside at 6:10. Just had a very sloooow after supper stroll. This day off from radiation has really thrown a monkey wrench into my schedule! I'm usually worn out by now. Instead, I've been pretty much worn out all day.

Mrs P has been busy busy. She sold some furniture on Craig's List and then moved a day bed down into the room so she and Mum can sit and keep me company. And watching other people work hard has always made me tired.

Jake has been enjoying a dog day. He and Mum tried to sit outside for a while, but the yard was just stifling, even in the shade. He mostly slept where the earth was damp. I gave it a shot, but it felt like I was inhaling solid leaf mould. I retreated to the artificial cool without putting up much of a fight.

I took the last of the steroids today. That's the end of the hard core anti-nausea drugs. Now I'm down to the ones marked "as needed." I'll be sticking with them for a while, too. It isn't so much that, "Oh, my goodness here it comes..." kind of feeling as much as just a really nasty heartburn followed by some dizziness sometimes. The right kind of hiccup can make me fear for my consciousness.

The hot walking wrung me out, but if still feels good to move, however feebly. I've ordered a couple of books from Amazon about exercise during cancer treatments. I'll be sure to share any bon-bons that come along. Meanwhile, I stroll with quiet dignity, I guess. The kids recognize me of course, but wonder about where Jake is. I'm afraid to walk him. He can tug pretty hard on the leash, and I'm not sure how much tugging my PEG tube will tolerate. Now there's a 911 call I don't want to make. "Help, I've fallen and my cork has popped!"

So I walk alone. It's fine. At my best, I've always been a march to my own drummer type anyway. I passed through a family on my way around the far side of the block. Great big beautiful black momma with a bunch of children gathered around her. Their little Jack Russell Terrier hopping half-heartedly in the evening heat. Not even he could work up much spring in his step. Grampa was leaning in the window of a car that had stopped at the curb to chat. As I came even with them, a lovely child ran in front of me, on her way to her Grampa. She stopped and looked at me the way a little child in our neighborhood will ask permission from an old white man whom she doesn't really know very well. I grinned and said, "Well, excuse me, Ma'am" and invited her to pass. Momma smiled approvingly. I'm not sure I've ever felt so harmless.

Toothless old lion walking in the evening sun after dinner. It's kind of liberating, actually.