#413: Same Goal, Different Foe

Been quite a hiatus since my last post. My bad. I've let a lot of things distract me from my center. Some important, some irrelevant, some seemingly insurmountable. There have been other priorities: getting the taxes done, (finally); increasing my workouts to build strength and speed; dealing with finances and paperwork; blah, blah, blah, etc. There have been time wasters: solitaire and Words with Friends; way too many hours spent on Facebook; Netflix. Then there's my old friend, depression. I've said that cancer was easier to live with than depression, and I meant it. Both are potentially fatal diseases. But only one is curable. I'll spend the rest of my life as someone who had cancer once, but I'll always be a man living with depression. It's never going to beat me. I'm not going to let that happen. But it's going to keep trying.

Depression is a cruel disease. The things that help the most are exactly the things that depression tried to keep you from doing. Get out of bed. Remember your meds. Exercise. Tell a friend you're hurting. See the doctor. Visit the therapist. Fighting cancer is a pretty passive process by comparison. Mostly, it's about enduring. You suffer and you take it. You know that cancer will either kill you or it won't and you just hang on for as long as you can until that resolution comes. But fighting depression requires action. Getting this blog back in motion is one of the actions I think I want to take as part of my own fight. I'm not going to let the darkness win. Ever.

There's been lots of good news since summer. Maybe the best is that I've taken one more step toward a dream that was born even before I got sick. Two weeks ago, I signed a contract as a Personal Trainer for the YMCA. I got a little misty as I put my signature at the bottom of the page. I flashed back to the day during radiation treatments when tried to make it to the bathroom and couldn't get out of bed. I threw up all over the floor and sat there weeping as Mrs P cleaned me and the bedroom up. I thought of how weak I felt that day, and how her faith in me was often the only reason I had to keep fighting. Her love kept me alive through the worst of times, and now it felt like the best of times were ready to begin. I'm still a rookie trainer. I'm studying hard to earn that NCSM certification that will be my real credential, but for now, I'm doing the work I love: helping people to fight for their lives.

I ran two Half Marathons this fall: the beautiful Iron Horse Half in Midway KY and the Monumental in Indianapolis. The Monumental was particularly special because I got a chance to finally meet and run with a friend and inspiration: Charlie the Javarunner. His blog, Running With Coffee is an informative and authentic telling of his own journey and struggles as a runner. We've been friends for over a decade online, but never met before my trip to Indy this November. It was a joy and an honor to meet him and spend 13.1 flat Indiana miles together.

I've been training with Coach Carrie for most of the running season this year and it has paid off. This year I set personal records in the 5K, the 10K, and the Half. She encourages me to work hard, and inspires me to keep going through the pain and fatigue that comes when I approach my own limits. More than once, I have heard her voice on the road or in the weight room when she isn't even there, pushing me to finish that last mile or pull that last rep.

It's funny. I've never been very big on combat metaphors. I was very competitive when I was a kid, and since I wasn't really very good at any of the sports we played in the neighborhood, that hunger to win produced a lot of anger and frustration in me. I tried to give up fighting for anything, but cancer taught me that some battles are worth taking on. Today, my battle is against another disease: one that hurts a lot of people I love. It is relentless and insidious. It wants to take my life.

And it's gonna find the Fat Man and Mrs P to be a formidable team.

Peace,
Pennsy

#334: Faster and Fitter Than Ever

Part of the beauty of being a new runner is that you can make progress in such big chunks. I ran the Legacy Loop 5K in 35:41. That's more than a minute and a half faster than my previous best from last week. Of course, it was also about 20 degrees cooler. It was nice to run three sub 12:00 splits. Ran the whole race using 1:45/0:30 second intervals. By staying patient and sticking to that discipline, I was able to keep my strength for the whole race. At around 2 miles, I encountered a woman who appeared to be about my age. We jockeyed back and forth for a while, then I finally settled in beside her and we ran together for the last mile. We even chatted back and forth. Amazing for me to be able to run 3 miles and still be able to carry on a conversation. The race finished inside the baseball park, at home plate. I was able to run strong all the way around the warning track. I finished a couple of seconds ahead of my partner, after I took a few breaths, I looked over my shoulder and we smiled at one another. We had both run a good race.

That was Saturday. Today is Monday, and I couldn't wait to get back on the road. good thing, too. It's going to be a hot one. An early morning run is the best way to beat that. I was awake at 7:00, grabbed a SlimFast for breakfast, and read the news. At around 8:00, with the temperature at 70 degrees, I hit the street. This was a new route for me. Lots of shade, some rolling road, and a short span where there was no sidewalk. Real road running. I encountered lots of folks out for their morning constitution, run, or dog walk. Even saw a little girl zooming around on her Razor scooter! Only one glitch: as I said, this was a new route for me. I made one wrong turn that took me a few blocks out of my way, and added about a quarter mile to my workout. It was a slow, easy run, so I'm not worried about the extra distance.

One other milestone: I have crossed the 275 pound barrier. This morning I weighed in at 272, with 25% body fat. I feel terrific, and may have to buy new pants again soon. My goal is to be down to 240 pounds by Labor Day. Baby steps.

I'm so pretty now, there's no telling how irresistible I'll be at 240.

Peace,
Pennsy

#332:Running 4 the Sole: A New Personal Best!

This was the out-and-back course for today's 5K, "Running 4 the Sole."


So what's behind the funny name?

Here's the description from their Facebook page: This is a shoe drive for kids around the world who don't have footwear. It's a great cause as your donation can prevent foot disease and send a child to school. The registration fee was one pair of old shoes. I donated a pair of 13s that were a little short and narrow for me. Some big-footed boy is going to be very happy with them. By the time I got there, they had a pickup truck full. It was so inspiring! The event was organized by a Lexington 5th grader named Kasey. She did an amazing job lining up sponsors, organizing the marketing, and finding a lovely venue that was a fun run for everybody. But man, was it hot. As best I can figure, it was about 80 degrees when I arrived at 1:00 to warm up for the 1:30 start. "Warm up" may be the wrong word to use. I sure didn't need any warm up clothes. I had put on sunscreen at home, and was already wearing my Nike Pegasus shoes and knee stabilizers. When I left the house.  I drank quite a bit of water before the race, but I was glad I did. I used it all. To warm up, I did a nice, easy walk/jog/run around the park. I probably did about a mile-and-a-half, including what I thought was going to be the last quarter mile, down the big hill that usually leads to the finish line. Throughout my warm ups, I had a little twinge in my right calf, so I resolved to start out very slowly and drop out if I couldn't get comfortable. The race started a couple of minutes late, which gave me time to check out some of the other runners. There were a couple with baby strollers. I love these things. I always hope that the kid continues running once they're out and moving on their own. There were some beautiful dogs, A couple of setters and three Weimaraners in particular. The heat would have been murder for Jake, but those big old short hairs seemed to thrive in it. Most of their humans would have had much better times if they had just brought skate boards and let the dogs tow them. "I hope that guy is wearing suncreen." There was one young man in particular who caught my attention. He had the long-limbed look of a real runner and was not wearing a shirt. "A choice only a young man would make on a day like this," I thought to myself. It's probably a sign of my own geezerdom that my first thought was, "I hope that guy is wearing sun screen." He was doing some pretty esoteric warm ups, hops and butt kicks back and forth in front of the starting line. I wasn't sure if he was for real, or just showing off. But, judging from the way he looked when he passed me, headed back for the finish, right after I reached the 1 mile point, I'd say he was for real. I gave him a couple claps and an "attaboy." When you can run like that, you can look as goofy as you want before the start. Instead of the traditional gun or air horn, the race started with two young girls counting down "Three. Two, One... GO!" . It really set the tone for what was a "Fun Run" from start to finish. I was a little thrown when the leaders did not make what I expected to be the first turn. We were not following the route I had run here in the past: the one I had trained so strongly on when I came out on Thursday. I decided to throw away my plans, and just enjoy the trip. I started the interval timer on my watch so I would know when to walk and when to run. After the first 90 second trot, I walked and took stock. I checked in with my right leg, and whatever was twinging earlier had worked itself out. The right knee showed no signs of complaint. Back? Straight and strong. Sunglasses? Staying firmly in place. Sweat band? Sopping up the drops and keeping my eyes clear. But what was going on with my shorts? I have this pair of shorts. I really like the way they feel. They are a dark sort of pewter color with a black and yellow stripe down the leg. They looked fantastic in the store. Not as great on me, but I don't have to look at them, and they've always worn just fine. Thing is, today, they started to creep. Not creep up. The legs stayed down where they belonged, fluttering lightly against my compression shorts. It was the waist. For reasons I can't begin to explain, the waist of my shorts was moving in a clockwise direction around my body! Several times during the race, I would reach down and hike them back around, lining the back seam up with my own back seam. They would be OK for a while, then a few minutes later, I would feel them over on the right again. I assume this says something about my running form that someone with a trained eye is going to have to fix for me. For now, it's just part of the whole comical package that makes up Fat Man Running. I used 90 second/30 second run/walk intervals, and that really seems like a good place for me. Sure, a lot of people zoomed past me at first, but, I caught a lot of them before it was over. I also discovered, after confirming the distance on mapmyrun.com that my Nike+ sportband measured this run about .16 miles shorter than it actually was. Not a big deal when I'm training, and in a measured race, I can always go back and do the math later. I finished the race at a gallop, or maybe it was a gallumph, but it felt like galloping to me. I finished strong and well ahead of my previous personal best. I had done that crazy Krispy Kreme challenge on a cool, hazy morning in 38:36. Today, my time was 37:08. That's an average pace of 11:59/mile, which means that somewhere in there, I also met my personal goal of breaking a 12 minute mile, set back in the winter, when I could barely finish in 15. Time to move those goalposts out a couple more minutes. I gratefully received my cold bottle of water at the finish, then took a nice long walk to cool down. After that, it was a quick drive home, get out of the wet clothes, find the ice pack for my knee, and pass out with Mrs P and the dogs for a few minutes. What a great day! Sort of makes me glad the Rapture didn't happen yesterday after all. The little angels who put this race together would have been taken up for sure. And running in the blazing heat would have taken on a whole new significance. Peace, Pennsy